I have been single going on six months now.
I’ve very rarely stayed single for this amount of time so it has been an experience that is really good for me, but at the same time has been somewhat challenging.
At the beginning of my adventure being single I started out with a focus on family and friends (and of course my relationship with Christ) & found myself at a place of complete contentment & happiness.
The past couple months, however, have been a little bit more of a struggle as I slowly moved to a place of uncontentment, uncertainty, and impatience.
Right about the time it started getting difficult is when God allowed my paths to cross with a really awesome girl. I’ve only spoken to her once, but in that short conversation we had, she managed to say something that really impacted my life.
We of course got on the topic of boys. I listened as she very passionately talked about not only saving your body for your husband, but your heart as well. She has come to a conclusion that if you are spending one on one time with a boy, even as friends, then you are dating him. You can call it “friends” all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that he will begin to know you in an intimate way & will have a piece of your heart.
At first I thought this was insane. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she is totally right.
If you don’t get anything else from this blog post, at least listen up for this..
It is a privilege for someone to have access to your heart. It is a privilege for someone to have your time. It is a privilege for someone to know you on an intimate level. If a man does not recognize the privilege of knowing your heart than he is not a man worth having around.
This privilege is one that is “far more precious than rubies”.
And this is a privilege that belongs to your husband.
Next time you think it’s no big deal to be close friends with a guy, or to date for “fun”, I urge you to rethink the situation.
Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t see the value of this privilege.
The problem is that this isn’t so easy for us single girls..
We’ve heard it all before.. “Just trust God, he has a plan”.
But unfortunately this is easier said than done.
To be honest, I actually do trust God with my future. The problem for me is not a lack of faith but rather that I am simply impatient about it.
themore I talk to my friends, the more I find out that I’m not the only one who feels this way. This is a struggle at the heart of basically every girl I know. For some it is a struggle on an even deeper level. A lot of girls I know doubt if they will ever be loved and accepted by someone. Other girls I know doubt their beauty. This is a real struggle for many people. So if you fit into one of those categories.. I want to assure you that you are not alone.
About two weeks ago I was talking to my friend Megan about how I’m so sick of it mattering so much to me. It was robbing me of enjoying life for what it is right now.
Let me go off topic for a minute and talk about how important it is to have friends who love The Lord & will keep you accountable. Megan is one of those friends for me.
She shared a verse with me that was really helpful to this particular situation.
“Give your burdens to the Lord,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Psalm 55:22)
So that’s what I decided to do. I gave this burden to God. I wanted him to take the desire of finding a husband out of my heart until He is ready to bring that person into my life.
The bible is not kidding when it says “ask and you will receive”.
Practically immediately I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, and even joy.
I felt so much freedom.
The days that followed continued this way, & so has every day since.
However, the Lord also spoke to my heart about something vitally important & He let me know that I had to do my part in this.
It happened when I was at CRU one night. One of the college guys went up to speak & the first thing I took note of was how attractive he was. Following that thought was wondering if he was single.
He soon began to talk about his fiance.
God stopped me right their and really pulled at my heart. He made me realize that if that was my fiance up there I would be SO MAD if some random girl was thinking of my soon to be husband in that way.
I realized how disrespectful I was!
Then I realized that every guy I think of in that way is someone else’s husband.
I’m going to be vulnerable here and share that if I’m being completely honest.. At this time in my life the many thoughts throughout the day that revolved either around my own appearance or around boys were countless.
That is when God brought this verse to mind..
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Man, did that verse hit me hard.
It is one I keep in my heart & put to practice frequently. There was a time where I used to really struggle with insecurities of who I am both inside and out. I overcame these insecurities by holding onto this verse. Anytime a lie entered my mind I took captive of it & asked God to replace it with the truth.
God laid it on my heart to also take captive any thought that enters my mind about boys & ask Him to replace those thoughts with His thoughts.
So that is what I started to do.
Like I said, it has only been about two weeks of me putting all of this into practice. However, the freedom I have felt is unbelievable.
So I am writing all of this to say..
That if you are struggling with any of the things I mentioned, then I urge you to give that burden to The Lord.
He is so faithful.
I can truly, honestly say that God took that burden away from me. Of course a boyfriend and eventually husband is something that I still hope to have someday. However, I have laid that in Gods hand and I trust Him with not only my tomorrow, but the timing He has for my tomorrow. He has replaced my burden with peace and understanding & He will do the same for you.
God is good, ladies.
He has a plan for you. Trust in Him.