It has been a while since I last wrote. School and work have been keeping me very busy!
My counseling class has been great this semester. It is what reminds me that all of this school work isn’t for nothing! I am learning a lot of awesome things that continually blow my mind every single day. Slowly but surely I am learning more and more to help equip me as a counselor.
One of the books I am currently reading is titled “Caring for people Gods way”. A lot of what im sharing today is rooted from this book.
So let’s talk about anger…
I’ve never really considered myself an angry person, therefore I thought the assigned reading for this week would be mostly irrelevant to my personal life. Boy was I wrong. I learned that basically if you have a pulse, you experience anger on a regular basis. Anger manifests itself in many different ways in our life.. Not necessarily just rage, but in other ways such as bitterness, frustration & etc.
Have you ever noticed how much the bible talks about anger? Anger is mentioned 455 times just in the Old Testament. Out of those 455 times, 375 of these verses are referencing Gods anger.
(the type of anger God possesses is considered a righteous “turning of tables” type of anger)
One thing I want to be sure to point out is that anger is not a bad thing. Being angry is not a sin. In fact, it is a God given emotion that has a lot of potential to do good.
The problem today is that many people don’t know the value of their anger.
“Anger is a signal and one worth listening to. Our anger may be a message of being hurt, that our rights are being violated, that our needs and wants are not being adequately met, or simply that something isn’t right. Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important issue in our lives, or that too much of our self—our beliefs, values, desires, & ambitions are being comprised in a relationship. Our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than we can comfortably do or give. Our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the experience of our own competence and growth. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self. Our anger can motivate us to say no to the ways in which we are defined by others and yes to the dictates of our inner self.”
Anger is like a smoke detector. It’s there to warn you about a fire that needs to be taken care of.
With anger also comes the power, energy, & adrenaline that is necessary to put out the fire.
As corny is this may sound, there is a scene in the second hunger games movie that impacted my life forever.
It is a scene towards the end of the movie. If you know anything about the hunger games then you know that Katniss is the symbol of hope. Hope that there will be an end to the games & people will find freedom. In this specific scene, Katniss hits a breaking point & comes close to shooting one of her allies(which would totally ruin everything & also happens to be what the enemy wanted). In the very moment that she is pulling back her arrow to shoot, her ally says to her, “remember who the real enemy is“.
When our family, friends, or those close to us hurt us & we respond in ungodly anger, is it possible that we are forgetting who the real enemy is?
I believe that anger is a gift God gave us to help warn us that satan is trying to get his hand in our lives.
I also believe that satan knows this & therefore tries to distract us so that we use our anger for bad rather than good. He poses our loved ones as the enemy & he himself goes unnoticed.
Maybe the anger inside of us is meant to be a flashing light to get our attention of something that is breaking the heart of God..
Maybe when we are experiencing anger we are recognizing something that is close to Gods heart.
Could it be possible that the power & adrenaline that comes with anger was intended to be a gift to help us eliminate the problems in our lives? Or even in the bigger picture of the kingdom?
As usual I could continue to write on & on..
But for the sake of time & not boring you to death I will simply leave you with this challenge:
Next time you feel yourself getting angry ask yourself what the smoke detector is trying to tell you. Remember who the real enemy is. Try controlling your anger instead of allowing it to control you. Take a deep breathe & use that energy for good.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
If this blog post interested you, I would suggest looking into what your anger style is! The book I’m reading talked about three different types that are unhealthy (cream-puffs, locomotives, & steel magnolias).
Cream-puffs: Repressed. “The main characteristic of the cream-puff is passivity. Cream-puffs avoid making clear statements about what they think and feel, especially when their opinion might make someone else uncomfortable. Their energy is focused on protecting themselves or others, and maintaining harmonious relationships. Cream-puffs avoid conflict like the plague. They are more likely to say “I’m sorry” rather than “I’m hurt,” I’m” afraid,” “I’m frustrated,” or “I’m angry”.”
Locomotives: Over-competitive & Explosive. “Doesn’t have much time for the feelings or opinions of others. He has a sharp tongue and can be quick to criticize, put-down and humiliate others. On the outside he appears confident but inside he is riddled with fears and insecurities. Because he needs so much acceptance it is difficult for him to compliment others. It gives them the attention that he believes he deserves and needs for himself. He needs to be right all the time and when he errs it will be on the side of being tough and not tender. They are often so pre-occupied with the needs of themselves that they become insensitive to and unaware of the needs of others. They often communicate in ways that violate the dignity and rights of others.”
Steel Magnolias: Passive aggressive. “On the outside she appears very soft and tender. At times you will see the very lovely and sweet-smelling magnolia blossom. But more than just a casual encounter will reveal hardened steal. She may appear to be passive but is actually quite aggressive.”
This is just a short description of each. Figuring out which style is yours will help you better evaluate how to handle your anger.